An IRS Christmas

We Owe What?

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the houses,
No creatures were stirring, except those IRS louses.
Who do nothing but moan, day in and day out,
about people not paying their taxes, no doubt.

They sent us a letter, saying we owed them some money,
We told them they’re wrong, which they didn’t find funny.
They hounded and threatened us saying we better pay up
Or they’ll send out some thugs, maybe even a mutt,
They’ll hold us hostage, for as long as need be
because they’re the IRS dammit, who are driven by greed.

We told them we paid our taxes on time,
although we might have err’d,  by a dime.
They said we now owed over half a million bucks,
to which I replied, you’re a special kind of nuts,

We faxed and we wrote and we talked on the phone,
until complete exhaustion took over our bones.
They said have fun Bill, because now we have lien’d,
that place you call home, who cares if it’s mean.
Who cares if we’re wrong, and that you can indeed prove,
you don’t owe us a dime, you’ll still have to move.
Your credit will be ruined, from now til times’ end,
now just call it a day and pay what we said!

Just hold on Mr. Taxman, I said with a smile,
I have a new friend and he’s got some cool style.
He says that you’re wrong and that you will soon see,
it‘s WE who are owed money, according to he.
An Elgin CPA has come to our rescue, and says Mr. Mason,
their own tax code we’ll turn to,
you’ll see with a click and a clack the new numbers
that yes Mr. Taxman, it’s you who has blundered.

Over a half million dollars in err, and you were once laughing at our despair,
Our home and our lives you were ready to ruin, in the name of the IRS’s stupid tax rule.
The incompetence and bone headedness we dealt with for years, was soon nearing an end which we knew you had feared,
because even though this won’t change your agency rules,
We will have been vindicated and with a little luck,
I’ll get to tell someone who might give a crap and actually do something about an agency who ruins lives daily to show a false justification for their very existence.

Yeah I know…..the end doesn’t rhyme, get over it.
The sad part about this, is that the above, is true story and without the help of our (then) new Senator Mark Kirk (who btw, took my letter asking him for help, on his very first day in office!)  Without his help, and the help of Craig Mason, CPA (Elgin, Il  www.elginCPA.com), we would still have a lien on our home and a BS bill with the IRS of over $600,000.00!

Thank you Senator Mark Kirk and Craig Mason for standing with us to prove something that everyone said we’d lose.

This ordeal started in 2007 and even with the help of the Tax Advocate Service, an agency within the IRS who’s very existence is to help those who have exhausted all other efforts, who did absolutely nothing for almost a year until I contacted the Senator, and actually at one point in all this, outright lied to Senator Mark Kirk in an attempt to end the matter with me still owing over $12,000.….we won.  Not everyone has the resources I had available to me.  Not everybody has the patience that we had to have to see this thing through.

At several points in this ordeal we were ready to toss in the towel and just write em a check to end it once and for all.  Idiot after idiot I had to deal with.  Complete days spent on the phone with the IRS.  The IRS Revenue Officer I had to deal with locally, is a very lucky fellow because there’s a lot of people who would give anything to have his Government paid job….of doing nothing, with benefits!

Not many people are able to say they survived an attack like this by the IRS, and make no mistake, they held us hostage (and still do because they now refuse to help get their BS Tax Lien removed from our credit bureaus).  It’s very existence makes it appear to creditors (future and past), that we tried to cheat the government when it absolutely wasn’t true.

Merry Christmas everyone and please have a safe and happy New Year and pray….this never happens to you.  If it does….Call or email Craig Mason.  He’s got the battle scars to prove he’s been through it already!

Bill & Janine O’Neill – Elgin, Il